Latina Penguin Runner

Words are not enough

2006-11-07T14:24:00.000-05:00

Putting this experience into words is going to be difficult. I will make a valiant attempt in the hopes that I won't sound like a bumbling idiot in the process. If I do, my disclaimer is that I'm still on an adrenaline high and well, English is NOT my first language!

The start was quite inspiring. I experienced the true meaning of “huddled masses” and boy were there MASSES!! Runners came from far and wide in all shapes sizes & colors and we were all out to face one challenge, the streets of New York City. There’s not a whole lot to do for about 3 hours hanging out in Ft. Wadsworth Staten Island. You basically sit & people watch. I realized that there were so many resourceful people out there. Some had brought along blow-up pool rafts and tarps and noodles (as pillows) to lay down on. There were even a few schmoopies out there huddled up for body heat. It’s fun observing athletes prepare for the start…stretching, getting massages, running in place, sleeping, and lubing! Definition of lubing: rubbing Vaseline or body glide aaaallll over your body reducing any possibility of skin chafing in any part of the body. Use your imagination people ha!

Mobs of people crowd the start & everyone is super amp’d up to start. Then you see it, way out in the distance. I’ve never seen it before but I’m told, yeah that’s it that’s it. It’s the Verrazano Narrows Bridge!! The beep as you walk across the rubber mats indicates you’ve officially started the New York City Marathon & 26.2 miles lie ahead of you.

Entering Brooklyn was extraordinary. You know there’s a lot of Brooklyn to cover & the excitement is just empowering. Joy & I forced ourselves to keep calm & relax & slow down. The strategy was start really slow, I mean really slow. I was really scared my knee would give out at some point & I wanted to put off that moment as long as I possibly could. If it could hold out long enough to walk the rest of the way I would be in good shape to finish. So it was charge on through Brooklyn! All the nabes were great & I loved all the support in Brooklyn.

Then around the 12 mile mark you know QUEENS is right around the corner. HOORAY!! I’ve never been so excited to see the Pulaski Bridge. It was so serene. It’s the only way I can describe it. Crossing into Queens was like the calm before the storm. The start up energy has calmed down a bit as you approach the marathon’s halfway point. Then you store your energy for the colossal Queensboro Bridge & the inevitable 1st avenue ascent. Fifteen miles are now behind you & it’s time to crank it up a notch. There’s a great band greeting your entrance to this bridge but it doesn’t prepare you for this deceptively LONG friggin bridge! Then you say your good-byes to all the…Queens representatives…I love you L.L.!!

Once you realize that the bridge is finally ending you start to hear the cheers in the distance. You start revving your engine because Manhattan is waiting for YOU. OH YEAH!!! There it is in front of you the madness of First Avenue. I was a part of that madness last year, but this year I’m on the inside of the barricades!! I always wondered why Upper Eastsiders looked so good & today I found out. When you climb up and down first avenue every day you too could look FABULOUS. The 18 mile mark was awesome. Not only were we approaching the end of our hike uptown but there were so many familiar faces waiting for us to give us the extra energy to get us into the next borough. Thanks for the Tylenol & salty bagel people!! I got this now. A good old familiar sign came up next…Willis Avenue Bridge!!

It’s the Boogie Down Bronx straight ahead. I loved going into the Bronx. I’m not sure if it was the love my husband has for his hometown or if it was the end of the “wall” but nontheless I was ecstatic to reach the Bronx. The people there were fantastic & I even got to listen to some spanish music. Oh yeah a little merengue can take you a few miles. Never underestimate the power of latin rhythms! I also got to see some family which was exciting because this was the point of no return. I knew in my heart that if I could get through the Bronx I could make it the rest of the way even if I had to crawl to the finish. I couldn’t leave the Bronx without giving homage to my husband’s favorite team since he was 3 years of age…so we waved to Yankee Stadium as we crossed over the Madison Ave Bridge & headed for CENTRAL PARK BABY!!!! From here on it was FINISH LINE or BUST!

At this point I thought about the 20 miler that I did on my own just a couple of weeks back & thinking about that just boosted my confidence. I believed that I could do it. There was nothing stopping me…not even the East River. I’m a spiritual person but sometimes God works in really amazing ways. Just as we were running through Harlem down 5th Avenue I ran into some friends that I didn’t expect to see at all which was such a morale booster. The words…”I’m SO proud of you” resonates in your head & physically moves you to keep going. As if that weren’t enough there was a young woman with 2 kids holding up the sign…BELIEVE & it literally brought tears to my eyes. How much power can one word hold? It was truly powerful. My mind, my heart, & my body began to move forward with only one focus & they all worked together effortlessly into Central Park. Those final mile markers were building me up for what would be the most incredible finish I would ever experience.

The roar of crowds in the park & out to Columbus Circle lifted me up off the ground. I couldn’t feel my feet or the road beneath my feet. It was like I was suspended in mid air floating through the last 800 meters. I thought I could see the sign up ahead, “FINISH” & I begged my eyes not to deceive me. I prayed & prayed & then prayed some more. I propelled forward with everything I had in my heart and the last bit of energy in my body and with the last breath of air that I could take in I ran with all my might & all my power & saw my husband waving me to the finish. I could see it clearly now. There it was right before my eyes, my dreams, my goals, & my 26.2 mile FINISH.

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start!" by John Bingham for Runners World

Picture is worth 1,000 words

2006-11-06T19:36:00.000-05:00

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start!" by John Bingham for Runners World

My Best Friend

2006-11-06T16:17:00.000-05:00

Before I get into marathon day details I need to get this off my chest....

My best friend is my husband. He is my support, my arm, my shoulder, my feet, the air that I breath. I can never manage to really put into words what I truly feel for him. At this emotional moment in my life I just feel the need to express what he means to me because I don't think that I would be writing about this experience if it weren't for his unconditional love & endless support for me.

He's the man I fell in love with some years ago. I fell in love with his sincerity, his simplicity, and his ability to give love unconditionally. There was a time when I was unsure of what I wanted out of life & love. I soon realized that HE is what I NEEDED. I needed someone honest, sincere, and considerate. He's my best friend because he listens when I need to be heard, he loves me when I need to feel loved and he's compassionately honest when I need to hear the truth. I have never met anyone like him.

He's encouraged me to grow as an individual while we face the challenges together. He believes in me when I'm filled with doubt and he inspires me when I'm afraid to reach for something more. He's showed me that I can dream beyond what I never thought possible. He's an example of complete selflessness. I have been so incredibly blessed with such an incredible man by my side. I honestly don't know why I deserve him. No matter how difficult our life has been together we have come out on top because he believes that we can get through anything. His incredible optimism in the bleakest of moments has shown me that together we can survive just about anything. With all my imperfections he still knows how to love me even when it's not so easy to do.

He might not know this but I've learned so much from him. And I've learned so much more about myself through him. I have become a better person every day because of him. I knew I could do this marathon because he BELIEVED it and he made a believer out of me.

J- you are truly the love of my life...always luvin you

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start!" by John Bingham for Runners World

Success or Failure?

2006-10-31T15:09:00.000-05:00

As I start to think about race day & begin to "visualize" myself running through the five borough course, I wonder what will I consider a success or a failure that day.

I look back at what I've done thus far & for ME, getting to the starting line without crutches, stitches, or some type of ace bandage will be a big SUCCESS!! I made it through marathon training. That, my friends, was an enormous challenge. It was a challenge I wasn't sure I would be able to do on my own. I don't know if people realize that this is the biggest piece of actually running the marathon. The last 4-5 hours is just the tail end of this goal. Training involved months of dedication, running, planning, & achieving each & every work out both running & cross training. The first few weeks you're pumped & motivated & everyone is living in the glory of running (it's also the summer so who's not motivated??!!!). But then it's not so fun anymore. After a couple of months you realize that your life has changed & while this change was refreshing once it's now hard! Then you think darn I've only been doing this for 3 months & it's not even October yet!! WTF??? That's when you have to dig deep for that motivation. You have to convince yourself & remind yoursel of all the reasons why you're doing this. And the reason is???....hmmm because....

When you're tired you have to get out there & run. When it's cold out & raining & just plain BLEH you get out there & run. When life gets stressful you STILL have to get out there & run. When you just don't feel like getting up from the couch you HAVE to get out there & run. When it's 5 a.m. & you need to get that midweek run in you get up out of your cozy bed & run. When it's 1,000 degrees outside & you just want to melt you have to get out there & run. Yup!! You run & run until you can't anymore. You run every week at least 3x during the week & 1 loooong run on the weekend. And then you have to add in your cross training, that means biking, swimming, rollerblading, pilates, yoga, & weights. This is done every single week of every month during your training. For me, it's been about 5 months of this non-stop.

Oh & then perhaps, like me, if you get injured then you have to plan some more! There's nursing the injury & supplementing running on land for running in water or cycling. And there's icing & stretching get yourself back into tip top shape so that you can RUN some more. Then of course, no training is complete without the proper nutrition. So you plan out meals before, during and after your work outs. There is a science behind the right amuont of carbs, proteins, fat, and sodium that you have to track so that you don't collapse before, during, or after a workout.

SO I'm realizing that I don't think I've ever dedicated this many months to any sport or hobby or anything for that matter. Maybe with the exception of my marriage (even then I take off weekends :) ha!). I guess in the grand scheme of things race day will be only the end of this enormous accomplishment for me. The last 5 hours of this goal will not compare to the countless days, hours & minutes that I have gotten through. Some good, some bad, but all done by ME! No one else did it for me, I ran every mile, I faced every hill, I soaked in the rain, & roasted in the heat, I did it all!!! And I did it MYYYYY WAAAYYY (alla Frank Sinatra)

"Regrets, Ive had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.
I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.
Yes, there were times, Im sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way."

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start!" by John Bingham for Runners World

20 down...

2006-10-22T22:42:00.000-04:00

Today my FIVE whole months of training has come to the beginning of the end. Today I ran my last long run before the big day (NOVEMBER 5th in case you forgot). I covered 20 long miles. As I started my run today after weeks of recovering from a couple of nagging injuries, I discovered my new self. This self picked up & planned out a 20 mile course set out & completed it. DID I DO THAT??!!!

I was scared because of the injuries, because of the distance, and because the big day is almost here. I ran up the New Jersey side of the Hudson River to the George Washington Bridge and down the New York City side of the Hudson River and back again! As I crossed the river it hit me like a big BANG what had transpired this morning! Did I ever think I was capable of getting up & saying "I'm going out for 20 day, I need to catch up?" OH NO! NOT ME! Not the chick that needed to find the closest parking spot to the entrance of the store! And then get out there & actually do it? As I looked out over the river as I ran across this bridge for the first time in my life I suddenly got emotional. I'm not usually such a sap but there was something spiritual about this. There was a sudden overwhelming realization of this point in your life that you have reached. I cried because this discovery of me was completely breathtaking. The view of water & greenery & life everywhere made me aware of what a wonderful place that nature coexists with humanity and both can share in the miracle transformation. The trees where changing their colors and the current was crashing on the banks & I have turned into a different person too. If I ever write a song I'll write it about this moment.

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start!" by John Bingham for Runners World

I met someone new today...

2006-10-22T22:27:00.000-04:00

Today I met a young woman. In the early morning shadows I saw her clearly for the first time. I'd seen her before every now & then & she looked familiar. But only today did I discover her. It was today that I really saw her for who she was.

She looked motivated and unstoppable. She's unlike anyone I thought I knew. She is strong and completely determined to reach her goals. Once you see her you can see that she's come a long way from the person she used to be. At first, when I would see her running at a distance, she ran sort of, unsure of herself. It was as though she was afraid of what she would discover about herself if she kept running. But she's different now. She's looks more confident & athletic. The running has become her element, a space she's comfortable in, a place that is all hers. She has an unwavering dedication. Even through some personal struggles recently and the demands of a career and family, she's totally committed. Through pain both physically and emotionally I've never seen such devotion to the sport. What amazes me most about this woman is that she KNOWS herself enough to accept her flaws and embrace her positives. Running has changed her. Her training has given her the courage enough to go at it alone when she needed to in order to move on to the next step but more importantly she's not afraid to accept help and support when she needs it. It's inspiring to see her now, to see her as a confident athlete, as someone who has moved past her failures and has found her success. This woman I met today...is me.

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start!" by John Bingham for Runners World

I Haven't Got Time For The Pain..

2006-09-06T10:11:00.000-04:00

…that was my motto for the last 2 miles of the NYC Half Marathon two weeks ago. What a race!! My mind & some wonderful loving spectators wished me to the finish line of the half marathon last Sunday. The first 10 miles went well despite the 30 minute down pour during miles 7 and 10. I didn’t even mind it so much until I kept stepping into huge puddles ankle high completely soaking my feet! BLEH! That’s when I knew the feet were going to take a beating & there wasn’t anything the biomechanical shoes or acrylic socks could do to help the situation. So I quickly put the feet situation to the side besides penguins were meant to run in water ha!

Two great pals from my running group kept me going through the beauty of Times Square until we arrived to the Hudson River, what a beautiful evolution of scenery. Only in New York could you experience big city lights & gigantic billboards followed by the magnificence of nature. Running down the West Side Highway underneath the grey skies looking at the murky water was definitely an experience. It wasn’t until I passed the 11 mile marker when a sudden pain in my left knee knocked me back into reality & reminded me OH YEAH I’m running the farthest I ever have in my life! The pain in my left knee was deafening with less than 2 miles to go. I stopped to walk & let the group keep going without me. I was so scared to be out there all alone because most of the spectators had scattered due to the rain & well it had been more than 2 hours since the start of the race…and yes I was STILL out there trying to finish. The fear of the sweeper bus (grim reaper of sorts or the boogey man) was revving up the anxiety even more. The sweeper bus picks up straggler runners at the back of the pack that take over 3 hours to finish the half marathon. I kept thinking, walk fast penguin walk fast. But of course I had on a personalized shirt which read “Run Jenn Run.” What was I thinking!! Now EVERYONE was fully aware that I was the bum that should be running but instead I’m walking. Ok I see the 12 mile mark & I keep walking inside I’m trying to conjure up enough nerve to start running again. Then I decide to…oh the pain the pain the pain. WHY IS THIS NOT OVER YET??? Where is that dam finish line?? Did someone move it?? WTF??? Can you tell I’m slowly approaching the moment of desperation? However quitting is NOT an option. I keep walking until I see the sign 800 meters to go…I visualize this. That’s 2 laps around the track. I can do THAT right? At this point your mind will either convince you that it’s not worth it OR you’re convinced that so long as you keep moving forward you will get to the finish. I looked around & didn’t see a single familiar face. There were no crowds but there were a few idle spectators hanging around, I’m assuming hoping to see a loved one, still cheering us on. This one woman holding up a sign for someone else just yelled at me right in my face…RUN JENN RUN! That moment in my mind this translated to quit slackin chick!! You’ve trained, you’ve worked hard, and now it’s time to finish this!! In my head I heard the Karate Kid music start playing. I told the pain that it will have to wait until AFTER I finish. I waddled & waddled until I could see the finish line & the people still hanging around cheering us on and then the face of my amazing husband looking like he woke up at 5am (which he did). The emotion welled up inside to think that he was there waiting for me too. He patiently waited for me not knowing that for a split second his wife wasn’t sure I was going to make it. I crossed the finish line in 2 hours and 33 minutes!!

I’ve heard some big time poker players say that poker is half skill & half luck. When I think about running I feel it is half physical endurance and half mental endurance. The mental fitness really starts to develop on those long runs when you find yourself all alone with the pavement beneath your feet and no one else even remotely interested in what you’re doing. Your mind & your body are the only tools that will get you to the finish. When you’re training there are no spectators there’s no one stopping traffic for you to finish the course you’ve set & there’s no one yelling your name holding up signs and wishing you to the finish. Your mind becomes the most powerful motivation to get you through it. Sounds a lot like life challenges.

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start!" by John Bingham for Runners World

New Frontiers...

2006-08-25T23:32:00.000-04:00

This training is taking me where no Latina Penguin has gone before...BROOKLYN! Yes can you believe that I've never walked or run across the Brooklyn Bridge?! Blasphemy!! I think I've ventured into this borough maybe twice definitely no more than four times. And now I can say I ran 11 miles through Kings County. So here's what I discovered...

-Grand Army Plaza this beautiful monument is the entrance of Prospect Park. The Soldiers' & Sailors' Memorial Arch reminded me of the "Arc de Triomphe" in Paris. I truly believe Napoleon would have been proud of our New York version!

-Prospect Park is HUUUGE it has a zoo, a lake, a band shell AND a running path! It definitely gives Central Park a run for its money. When I was there I was lucky enough to witness an official bike race and I watch hundreds of speedsters on their high tech bikes & shnazzy helmets zooom by me.

-I thought New Jersey was the only home for Farmers' Markets but low & behold I discovered one in Brooklyn...Had I not been in the middle of a long run I probably would have gone grocery shopping but alas I still had 6 miles to go & my waist pack was already stuffed.

-Did you know that Brooklyn has over 2.5 MILLION people?! Arrr? Really! I kid you not. So to all my single friends I say forget Manhattan hit Brooklyn the odds are better.

-Thanks to my running buddies I learned that this borough is also known as King's County because it was originally named after King Charles the II of England. I wonder if this means Brooklynites are descendants of royalty or a noble class of sorts.

So the conclusion is that I really need to venture further into my surroundings and go beyond the borders of Penguin Land ha ha! Ok ok so I guess Queens is next...Randall's Island I'm waddling your way!!

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start!" by John Bingham for Runners World

Everyone Has An opinion?

2006-07-27T09:15:00.000-04:00

Someone once said, "opinions are like (fill in the blank)...Everyone has one!" This couldn't be more true. I've realized that everyone has an opinion about something or everything.

I guess I should start from the beginning. After finishing my fantastic race, two days later I was zapped by reality. My legs began to ache pretty bad. I felt tight hamstring, tight inner thighs, aching hip flexor, etc. etc. Like an idiot, I continued with my training. WHY? Well, because why not? It's just a little pain. No big deal. Or so I thought. Aches turned into pain which turned into barely able to walk.

Hubby & I had a trip planned to Vegas. I had my training all scheduled out for the 4 days we'd be there, swimming on Friday, 7mile run on Saturday morning with weights, and maybe some more swimming on Sunday. ERR, none of this happened. I could barely walk much less swim or run. But this didn't stop me I did some weight training & some core work on Saturday followed by a lovely body massage. Something about being in the gym that just made me feel better. Oh YES & the IRON MIKE TYSON shares the same sentiments. We got to watch Mike Tyson work out in the gym. Opinion #1-The massage therapist, after hearing about my injury, suggested that a good massage would help with some time in the jacuzzi & some icing afterwards. Good stuff I followed the instructions & felt better. This didn't last long. Opinion #2 I email my running class coach & she declared that this was not caused by running but something else that I MUST have been doing...pilates? yoga? weight training? She assured me it was one of these things & I should steer clear of any of these activities. Hmmph! So I proceeded to hang around & drool as I saw the other runners continue happily with their training. Frustration & depression (UUGG) set in so I sought yet another opinion. Opinion #3 Marathon training coach suggested that perhaps I had pulled a muscle in my inner thighs probably resulting from not stretching correctly after my last race or maybe I ran too hard during the race (that's why I felt great?) and the other muscles over compensated. Lay low he said & rest for a few days. The opinions continued but I won't bore you with the rest!

Needless to say I rested for 11 days! That's a loooong time. I'm an addict people. It took every bit of me to NOT run. I understand now, the need & the desire to do something so bad but you know you shouldn't and you CAN'T! This past Tuesday was my first day back. There was no way I was missing my last running class. I went & talked to my coach & we ran around the block before the official run to see how it felt. The legs were responding, a little tender, but they were working. YIPPY SKIPPY I could run!! I could run!! I could run!! I felt like Rudolph when he discovered he could fly during the reindeer game HA!

So if you've ever fallen off a bike while learning how to ride you can understand this feeling of hesitation & anxiety of getting back on. Same thing with running, I was anxious at first. Scared that my legs would hurt or that they would cramp up or that I wouldn't be able to run. But much like riding a bike once you ease into it you remember how pleasant the experience is and you continue until you're riding away like the wind. I was off! I waddled on for about 30min & finished up 3 miles. The Latina Penguin is BACK! Umm hopefully.

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start!" by John Bingham for Runners World

The Utica Boilermaker Race

2006-07-11T11:42:00.000-04:00

UTICA I LOVE YOU!!! Sunday was truly a day of accomplishment for me. Not in my entire life did I think I could ever run 15k (9.3miles). It was the most invigorating experience of my life.

I’ve been reading quite a bit on preparing for this marathon. I am thoroughly soaking up all of the expert advice on the dos and don’ts of training, implementing good eating habits & proper form during my workouts, etc. etc. The recurring themes repeated throughout are TRUST your body and LISTEN to your body. It will perform when it needs to and will comply with what you want it to do. I read & read but the expression on my face is sure, sure, sure (these authors don’t know MY body...heh!) uh huh yup, I get it. Never once convincing myself that any of this will happen to ME, I read on & continued to do what I was told by my coaches & by the experts in the books. But on Sunday this race made a believer out of this doubting penguin. I feel as though I’ve witnessed a miracle. I was accepting the fact that this would be hard that it would test my mental willpower & physical strength. I mean the Latina Penguin has NEVER run this far in this weather up and down hills. Let’s not confuse this with being pessimistic I was just being realistic. I know my legs would push & I would have to literally talk myself into finishing. I KNEW what I was in for and I was completely prepared for it. What I wasn’t prepared for was how my body went to work.

The race had a rough start, not a good scenario at all. I had a restless sleep that night and I got up late. I forgot all of my key equipment (no headband & wristband brought the wrong bra). We got lost finding the start of the race. With minutes before the gunshot went off we’re running up a hill to pick up our numbers at the registration tent. The gun goes off & we had to potty & then we run to the starting line. Joy and I were one of the few runners left just crossing the start with about 9,000 plus runners in front of us. Stressed out and out of breath, we start the race about 12 or so minutes after the official start. The future looked bleak at best. At this point I tossed my strategy out the window & my only goal was to finish the same day…that’s it! With no expectations and no standards set we proceeded to sit back & enjoy the 9 mile run/walk. I waved to the spectators, sang with the bands along the route, high-fived the kids, and took water from anyone gracious enough to offer it. It was hot & muggy & the course was tough with mile long hills. Without realizing it we made it half way through & all along I kept thinking to myself, MAN I feel GREAT! I just ran up Steel Hill Road!! After 7 miles we were still going strong & I kept thinking to myself, shouldn’t I be at exhaustion point right now? What is going on? As we trekked on I partied on &amp;amp; laughed & yelled & ran through water hoses provided by the kind residents of Utica. And that was it I waddled across the finished line! I had waddled my way through 9.3 miles and yes, I was tired and yes, I was hot and yet I still had some energy left. The Latina Penguin body responded. The body went to work & came through for me. I was completely awe struck with this revelation of myself. In the end I can tell you first hand that if you treat your body right, it will do what you want it to do. Train on penguins!!!

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start!" by John Bingham for Runners World

Happy 4th of July

2006-07-06T10:11:00.000-04:00

So the fourth of July weekend came & went with a whole lotta stuff going on. Aside from having a slew of Martinez' join us for the holiday we also celebrated the graduation of one of our nephews. We attended a Yankee game against the AMAZING METS (and we won)!! And Sunday, well what's a 4th of July without a real BBQ...Which we thoroughly enjoyed at Hempstead Park in Long Island.

Oh yes and the fireworks!! Well there was no formal coordination of watching the fireworks on the 4th. But I decided to go for a sunset run. This after discovering that getting a run in after 9am makes for a dehydrated & exhausted Latina Penguin unable to finish the scheduled miles. HA! Anyhow I discovered I LOVE sunset runs. It's nice to not have the sun beaming on you & roasting your arms & legs until you're a crispy brown. There was even some nice crosswind I got to experience along the route. Finishing up mile 5 I realized it was about 9pm and the sun was just out of sight & the evening moon was making its entrance. As I was running along River Road watching all the locals carrying their lawn chairs for a good spot in the park to watch the fireworks, they started. The loud boom & colors lit up the sky!! It was such an incredible experience for me to watch this along my running route. Having ditched the ipod, the loud booms & crackle were a welcoming distraction to my ears and the vivid colors to my eyes.

Then my creativity kicked in and I began to imagine that all the celebration was for MEEE & all the noise and excitement was because the crowd was waiting for me to finish my 7 mile run this evening!! HOORAY FOR JENN...HOORAY FOR JENN is what I imagined in my head. I did finish & I made it back home to the finish line. Now if I only I can arrange it so that there's fireworks for all of my long runs. Hee hee :)

By the way, my next big race is the Utica Boilermaker 15k to run as far as I've never gone before that is the goal here!

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start!" by John Bingham for Runners World

The Cause..My Cause

2006-06-29T11:41:00.000-04:00

So although it seems like I’ve been neglecting my blog forever…I haven’t though I’ve actually been working on a thought provoking donation website. In my preparation for this marathon I also need to fundraise for a great cause, TEAM FOR KIDS. But instead of just sending out a mass email to everyone with…”hey got some extra cash for a great cause”, I’ve decided to make this cause not just a fundraising effort but an awareness campaign. That’s right, I don’t just want to raise funds (while this will be great if I do) I want to change lives! I want people to realize WHY this cause is so important and WHY it’s so incredibly appropriate for me and perhaps for many people out there.

The fruition of this marathon has been a true testament to my struggle with weight & food & confidence & self esteem! It all started some time ago when I noticed an extra 5lbs, followed by an extra 10lbs, followed by an extra 15lbs, followed by an extra 20lbs YIKES!! It scared the cr@p out of me. You see, overweight issues & obesity & the subsequent health problems have been a part of my family for as long as I can remember. I have a very faint memory of my mom on a 4 day diet (she would post on the fridge) and stocking up the fridge with grapefruit & veggies. Only her diet never involved any form of activity…no walking, no running, no sports, nada! So of course while she reaped the benefits short term on the diet the success never lasted long. I can remember cousins and aunts always talking about being “gorda”, this means fat (yes, my family is blunt!) and how so and so should just stop eating. The truth was EVERYONE could’ve used that advice. Aside from the handful of children in the house that didn’t have a weight issue just about every single person in my family was overweight & in many cases obese! Every family gathering however small or big revolved around food & talking about food & talking about being fat & criticizing ourselves for how we ate & what we ate.

The realization that I was well on my way to obesity made me desperate & looking back I would say I was probably depressed & lacked any confidence. I hated the family gatherings because I knew the inevitable comments…”are you getting fat?” or “you’re not as skinny as you used to be” or “you really shouldn’t be eating so much” Yet the menu was always fried chicken, meat, or pork and mayo with pasta, potatoes, bread etc. And if you decided NOT to eat oh boy then it really got ugly. It would be the interrogation of why you’re not eating?! You just can’t win! This could just be my dysfunctional family. Ignoring the deeper issues, I tried every aerobics class & every fad diet looking for a quick fix & sure enough it worked! I never thought I would be the cliché “yo-yo dieter.” I felt like a stumbling fool in these aerobics classes surrounded by these graceful skinny minnies. And I hated all the disgusting foods in these diets. I’ve always had food issues since I was a child only the reverse was true then. I didn’t eat enough so I was ridiculed for being too thin…now I felt ridiculed for being fat. I joined Weight Watchers over 4 years ago & learned to tackle the real problems…Obsessive Eating followed by Extensive Starving, Clean Plate Syndrome and Can’t Waste Food Syndrome. I also had to face the issue that I’ve never liked myself for one reason or another. My self image was not one that conveyed confidence or acceptance for who I am. I was always either too thin or too fat, my hair was too frizzy, my forehead too high, my feet too stubby, my legs too short, my hips too wide, etc. etc.

I’m not claiming to be completely cured. It takes a long time to undo 30 years of damage. I still struggle but every day is a step closer to a healthier me. I no longer eat or exercise in hopes that my hips will shrink and six pack abs appear. I’ll never be on a magazine cover modeling a teeny tiny bikini. But I do constantly remind myself that I want to eat to live and I want to run to live! What started out as a quest to lose over 20lbs now has turned into a quest to live longer & healthier!! Along the way I discovered something I love to do, running (or waddling in my case). And I see myself as a runner, a true athlete! If only I had discovered this sooner. If only I had the confidence & encouragement to start when I was a younger. I wish that someone had applauded my efforts when I attempted a sport and I wish that someone had just let me eat when I was hungry and sleep when I was tired. There’s a valiant effort to change the way some kids are being raised and to lead kids in the right direction early on so that they don’t go through the struggles that I’ve been through. This cause TEAM FOR KIDS is committed to creating positive habits like staying active and educating kids about good nutrition. If we can help kids stay healthy maybe they’ll grow up to be healthy adults…like the one that I’m trying to be.

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start!" by John Bingham for Runners World

NYC MARATHON Here I come!

2006-06-22T13:06:00.000-04:00

Ladies & Gents I hereby formally announce that yours truly has an official guaranteed spot to run in the ING New York City Marathon on Nov. 5th 2006!!

WOW so the verdict is finally in & I'm official. Its pretty scary to think that at this moment I'm exhausted after 6 miles....hmmm I wonder what 4x that distance will feel like? Its quite a scary challenge that lies ahead for me. But I believe I'm up for it. What do I have to lose really? I raise some cash for charity (TEAM FOR KIDS!) and do something that not everyone does, attempt to complete a marathon. I've been reading an amazing book by John Bingham (my hero!) The Penguin man himself & he's really put things into perspective for me. I want to do this for the F-U-N of doing it. I want to be greeted by thousands of New Yorkers and I want to truly enjoy running this marathon. I know I'll never win this race & I probably won't even finish in 5hrs but I do want to finish it. And to me that's all that really matters. For me this challenge will be my World Cup Trophy, my Stanley Cup, my World Series, my NBA Final, it will be MY WIN!

For most of the 31 years that I've been around I never considered myself athletic or coordinated & settled to being simply a spectator at sporting events. I've always imagined all sports were for true athletes not penguins like me. I thought you had to have the good genes that provided height, long legs, muscular physique to play sports & lord knows none of these words describe me. But here I am 5'3, short stubby legs, and no visible muscles (but they're there) and I WILL do this. It's just me & the road driven by my willpower to succeed and there's nothing else in the way. For the 1st time in my life I feel like a "Runner" and "Athlete" of sport of running (or in my case waddling ha!).

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start!" by John Bingham for Runners World

Ode to Dad

2006-06-19T11:24:00.000-04:00

I hope all the wonderful dads out there had a great Father's Day & truly felt how special they are in their loved ones lives. I had the chance to honor all of the great fathers that I know by cooking for them on the grill. Unfortunately, I don't have my own father alive to be able to shower him with gifts and affection for all that he's done for me. But I do still remember him and I honor him. And in honor of my own dad I make sure that each father in my family knows how special they are.

So yesterday we honored my stepdad who's been an amazing parent to me & my brothers & sister, my father-in-law who is cherished not only by his own children but by his grandchildren many of whom he's raised as his own, my older brother who despite many ups and downs in his life, manages to do all he can for his kids as best he can, and finally my brother-in-law who was celebrating his very 1st Father's Day and as I see him with my baby nephew I know that he's already a great dad & my nephew is very lucky to have such a special dad.

As I melted away at the grill & provided drinks to everyone so no one would pass out on my lawn, I thought of my own dad and I remember fondly the many days of "daddy duty" he survived. I remember how proudly he sat through countless hours of my singing in school plays, my stumbling antics in cheerleading basketball games and through it all in his eyes I was the best. It's funny how dads see past how awful you really are and they're only capable of seeing just you in the spotlight performing like a true pro! I really miss his encouragement and motivation. It's time like these that I can almost hear my dad saying, "you a penguin? No way, you're a QUEEEN GAZELLE!" Happy Father's Day Dad!

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start!" by John Bingham for Runners World

First Official Race of '06

2006-06-13T11:09:00.000-04:00

Greetings from the achey Central! I completed my first official race of the year this past weekend and the legs are feeling it now. It was a 10k which took place in Central Park and my buddy Joy came down from upstate to join me on the official start of my running season. I was very grateful that she did because I wasn't quite as prepared for this one as the last 10k race I completed last year. So her support and company was critical towards the end of this 6 mile journey. But nevertheless as anyone from the penguin brigade knows it's not how fast you run but it's the fun you have while doing it. And boy did we have a great time...We caught up on the recent endeavors in our lives, we joked about people we knew, we laughed as we noticed some speedy walkers pass us by & we waddled on to the finish line. WOO HOO!!

The best part of crossing that finish line is the elation that your body will feel to finally rest & eat that tasty free bagel while sipping on watered down Gatorade!!...Aaah Oh yeah & we get a beautiful medal to add to your collection of accomplished goals :)

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start!" by John Bingham for Runners World

And the winner is!...

2006-06-09T11:20:00.000-04:00

Sorry folks the winner was NOT me or Jorge for that matter. But my dear friend Joy DID get a lottery number to run the NYC Marathon! I'm super excited for her. I must admit I was very disappointed to find out the results. I thought that I might feel a little relieved if it turned out like this but frankly it wasn't the case. I guess I was more bummed because I really wanted to do it this year because I'm not quite sure what next year will look like (in terms of family planning). Ideally Jorge & I would like to get started on the baby factory fairly soon because as you may note I'm not exactly a spring chicken here! And neither is he! :)

Nevertheless after giving it some thought I realized I really want to do this. I really feel like this is IT for me. This is the year to take on this challenge albeit a crazy one. So I signed up with a charity to see if I can get a spot in the race. So here we are again in "wait & see" mode. If I don't get a spot then I guess the running gods will have spoken and it's just not the year for this penguin.

On to more realistic news. I AM running the Circle of Friends Race this Saturday. It's a 10k which I've done before but not really prepared for this time around. I spoke to my running coach after class & she sounded very positive and felt that I would do fine. So the strategy for tomorrow will be to take the first 3 miles nice & slow maybe at a 13min pace. After "Cat Hill" crank it up a notch and do the remaining in a slightly faster pace. So I should be able to waddle my way to the finish line in a decent time and hopefully in one piece. The weather should be nice (thankfully!) and cool not too hot which is good for running. And I'll be running with my buddy Joy so in the event that I do collapse & get trampled on she'll be there to peel me off the ground HA!

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start!" by John Bingham for Runners World

The Anxiety!

2006-06-06T10:17:00.000-04:00

Jorge (that's my hubby) and I submitted our names to the NYC Marathon Lottery. They announce the winning entries tomorrow...eek!

Yes, some may say this is a pretty bold move for a penguin. I know I know...Here I am talking about waddling through 5k and 10k's yet I submitted my name to possibly run 26.2 grueling exhausting miles. What was I thinking??!! Plenty of mixed emotions going on right now. Part of me is excited about the challenge and I think it would be an incredible, amazing, life altering accomplishment. The saner part of me thinks do you seriously think you can waddle your way through 26 miles for over 4 hours? That's right good 'ol FEAR sets in...

In my defense for such an insane move, I have personally witnessed first hand plenty of other penguins who have attempted and succeeded at completing a marathon. I watched the NYC marathon for the first time in Central Park last year with my dear friend Joy. It was amazing to watch the elite runners (true athletes) run past us in their full athletic regalia (matching running tops & bottoms & high tech sneakers). I was more moved by the not so elite runners. The ones that looked like they were in real pain and at the end of their rope were truly poetic. I watched them well after 4 hours some no longer running but walking or even limping past the 24 mile mark. I yelled "GO YOU CAN DO IT!" I hoped it would help get through the last bit of the race.

Cross your fingers people...For what? I dunno!

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start!" by John Bingham for Runners World

The Plan

2006-06-01T12:46:00.000-04:00

Ok so in order to do this correctly I feel I need some professional guidance, especially since my running coach and mentor has moved away :( (I miss you Joy). I've enrolled in a running class which meets once a week for 10 weeks. I was intimidated at first because I was all alone on this one. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't do anything alone. I'm the one who wouldn't be caught dead at restaurant eating solo EEK! But hey its time to conquer the fears and march on! Especially since after all the goal is mine and in the end the beneficiary is ME.

I started my class a little over a week ago and I was received by mobs of people all who looked like elite runners and it made me wonder...why do they need a class? OH the embarrassment if they find out that I'm really only a PENGUIN!! So I sat quietly awaiting instructions and attempted to speak to no one. Finally the nice lady announced..."beginners and advanced beginners please proceed to the 3rd floor" you can imagine my relief. I was also secrectly hoping that I would find other penguins that I could share this experience with. Once I got there and the coaches were introduced a sudden chill filled the air and I found myself in a penguin colony :) it was nice to see some familiar faces.

So we run in Central Park & I've been officially deemed by one of my coaches as an Advanced Beginner...applause :takes a bow: applause. Not that this means much but it does mean I don't have to start with just walking. My group does 20 minute runs and we will work our way up to 30 min runs (approx 2 .5 miles) without stopping. Once you can run for 30 min without stopping than you are moved up to Intermediate...aaahhhh the next level. I guess its the competitive side of me that wants to get there in a hurry but I have to really put a lot of effort into ssslllooowiiing doooowwwn...yeah ok did anyone notice we're in NYC?? I have to keep telling myself slow & steady wins the race!

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start!" by John Bingham for Runners World

Penguin?? You Might Ask

2006-05-31T14:55:00.000-04:00

Well here it is my first high-tech internet tool that I've set up all by myself! :) You may be asking yourself..."what's with the title?" The title stems from an article in Runners World magazine (by John Bingham) that inspired me to start this blog and really captured how I felt as a pseudo runner in the making. Then I looked up the true definition & found out that was ME...yup it was!

"You've seen a penguin run. A chaotic flurry of feet. A living testimony to the dominance of will over form. And many of us (Like yours truly...me) those for whom a 10-k (this is 6.2 miles) qualifies as their long run for the week (or their LIFE in my case), represent no less a victory of will over form. With the indomitable force of the glaciers, we plod and shuffle our way through race after race. More amazingly, to you eagles and sparrows, we penguins are having the time of our lives."

I discovered running last year while planning my wedding and under the guidance and coaching of my dear friend Joy. I found my escape from the tortuous stress of planning the biggest event of my life. It became my solace. Although admittingly I'm not very fast or very graceful for that matter, I have found my cheap getaway to relaxation and physical fitness. I surprised even myself to discover a "real" sport that I was actually capable of doing without hurting myself, unlike say cheerleading or step aerobics. My first official race as a penguin was in July 2005 where Icompletedd a whole 4 miles after training for about 3 months.

Later in October 2005 I stepped it up with a whopping 10k! While I'm not as speedy as a sparrow or as elegant as an eagle, my running in these races, very much resembling a fugitive penguin, has given me a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

"The miracle isn't that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start!" by John Bingham for Runners World